The name is a joke about lawns; the edge along the driveway is not. Turf War Groundskeeping runs the sidewalk-and-curb blocks of Metuchen — Christol Street and the streets built like it — with a mower line straight enough to sight down, a trimmer through the fence corners, and an edger cutting that hard seam between turf and concrete that makes a whole yard look intentional. Feeding and seeding go in when the calendar says so, mulch goes down ahead of the summer heat, and the spring and fall cleanups carry off everything the trees let fall. Grass here surges in June and sulks in August, so the schedule bends to match it. Come around on a Friday and the block looks like it agreed on something.